Rating/warnings: R. Contains sexual assault and harrassment, off-screen rape and torture, violence and death, all at about the level of Shards of Honor. Gen (with canon pairings).
Word count: 70k. 15 chapters, complete
Summary: Illyan is assigned to watch Aral Vorkosigan during the Escobaran war. Soon he has to choose between his duty and his conscience, and the consequences rapidly get beyond him.
Notes: With grateful thanks to my two betas: Tel, who spent a ridiculous amount of time batting this back and forth with me, removing plot holes, physical and logical impossibilities, canon inconsistency and melodrama, and Avantika, who read the whole thing twice in twenty-four hours and told me how to make it say what I wanted it to say. If there were any fandom medals, I'd be nominating them both.
"Damn! Captain Negri was right," said Illyan.
"He usually is--what was the instance?"
"He said that permitting private judgements to turn my duty in the smallest matter would be just like getting a little bit pregnant--that the consequences would very soon get beyond me."
-Shards of Honor, chapter 8
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